Monday, July 8, 2013

an open ended letter to my children

I know that I wasn't the first and I am sure that I will not be last, but while I was ending my first pregnancy I decided to write a letter to my then unborn child.  It is basically a  fear and hormone driven letter letting your child know that you are sorry for not being perfect, but love them more than you ever knew possible, and promising that you will be the best parent possible.  I know mommas, it is more than that, and personally it truly was a way for me to put down my hopes for my child(ren).  The other day I opened the letter I wrote to B over 3 years ago and I cried.  Wow, the fear I must have felt that I would somehow never manage to let her know what I truly want for her.  I'm sharing a few excerpts of this very personal letter Why? Because as parents, as humans, we often get so caught up in the day to day that we forget to look at the "BIG" picture, the things beyond academics that we want for our children. Because I believe everyone should take the time to do this for their children. Because if you don't have children you may not realize what those of us with them truly dream.  Finally, because I have decided to make this an open ended letter.  I have chosen to go into this letter, when the time sees fit, and add to, but never ever take away.  Maybe you should as well?  I have made it a letter to my children. A letter that sees past the daily occurrences and keeps the bigger picture in mind.  It is a piece of me.  I share this as a reminder that life is a journey, full of bumps in the road, especially parenting bumps, but in the end, a beautiful ride with glorious intentions.  These are ideas that I think every single person can benefit from and may need to hear from time to time.  Please keep any/all mean comments in your mean little heads, thank you.
.  ... ..... He has shown me that at the end of the day if you do not love who you are and what you do, then what is the point?
I am probably going to be telling you what to do or at least what I think you should do for the next 30+ years of your life.  You are probably not going to want to listen to me most of the time, but remember I love you and if nothing else try to live by the following:  
Get out: Outside, being in nature, where Gods gifts are untouched is the most beautiful place in the world.  Better yet, you get your fill of sunshine (vitamin D) and exercise, and more often than not a place to clear your thoughts and find peace.  Out of your comfort zone: it is too easy to go through life doing what comes easy to us, without taking any risk. But, if you truly want to have fun and discover who you are, push yourself beyond what you think you can do. Try something new, challenge your mind, body, and soul and in the end you will be stronger, wiser, and happier. ......
Have Faith:  In God….there will be times in your life when you feel no one and nothing is on your side, but I promise you, God is always with you and on your side.  Have faith and know that everything happens for a reason and God is behind it all….and we are lucky for that.  Have faith in your parents, we love you in a way that you will only comprehend when you have your own children.  Have faith in yourself.  You are capable of whatever you put your mind to.  We are limited only by our inability to believe in ourselves.  I didn’t say things would always come easy.  In fact, hard work is usually the only route towards achievement, but faith in yourself along with hard work, will guarantee you success.  
Fail:  Many people avoid trying new things because they are scared to fail.  How will you ever learn what you are capable of if you don’t try?  The answer: you won’t.  So go for it, whatever it may be, go after it and if you fail, what does it matter?  It doesn’t.  What matters are the lessons you learned in your attempt and the person you have become due to them.  No one is perfect, no one can succeed 100% of the time, and if someone did, he/she would not be having very much fun. The scrapes and scars that our attempts leave behind help to define who we become (just look at your dad, he is covered in scars and I love him more and more for each one)
Wow, a lot of time has passed since I've taken time to write to you.  You are a big sister now.  I realize now that this is not only a letter intended for you, Blaire, but this is to be shared with your sister, Sloane, and any other children your father and I may have (we are still on the fence ;) )  In the past three years I have learned more from you both than this letter can even hope to give to you girls.......

Happy thoughts, happy life.  Blessings


 

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