Some things are BIGGER

It was one of those mornings.  Counting down the minutes until I could get the girls down for nap.  Looking around at all of the things that need to be done, pick folding laundry, starting a new load, and unloading the dishwasher.  Okay, I'm taking a break, just want to be mindless for a few, maybe finish the kid activity blog I started the other day.  Log into Facebook, because that is the ultimate mindless activity and BOOM!  I'm reminded that life is not always a simple choice between which endless house task to complete, or how many I should complete before I take some time to be lazy, etc..  Sometimes it's not simple or easy or lazy at all.  Sometimes its about a fight for your life. 

I logged onto Facebook and found a shared link to a page for Friendship Paddle.  The scary, tearful part of this link, is that I find myself looking at my sisters best friend and her beautiful family.  I've known Tara has been in a fight for her life.  I think about her.  I pray for her.  Yet, seeing this tugged on me harder than knowing these past few months has.  I did what I needed, I donated.  Yet, I sit here now feeling sad and awakened.  I often kid and complain about parenting and kids and relationships, but the reality is these things are what makes life beautiful and worthwhile.  I can no longer imagine a life without my family, nor my families without me. 

When you find yourself frustrated about your job, your life, the laundry, the dog, whatever it is, remember this, It is a blessing.  This life is a blessing.  Live it as such. 

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or worn. It is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace & gratitude.” - Denis Waitley

And in case you are interested and want to learn more http://www.friendshippaddle.org/current_paddle.htm

The great lesson is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found in one's daily life, in one's neighbors, friends, and family, in one's backyard. - Abraham Maslow

Be Prepared

I remember when I was pregnant thinking, "why didn't anyone warn me about this?"  Then I realized it's one of two things, women forgetting how much being pregnant sucks after having an amazing little thing placed in their arms; or two, fear, the fear that you must be all alone in feeling this way or having certain side effects that you are too scared to share them with anyone for fear of judgment.  I decided that I would never hide the ugly side of pregnancy to any pregnant friend.  And, I haven't.  I also now realize that there is an ugly, oh so ugly side to parenting that no one ever talks about; I'm guessing for the same reasons.  So, here are my UGLY parenting facts:

1.  Showers are need based only.  Smell bad enough and it's time, otherwise what's a day or two without a shower, no one really knows anyway.

2.  A warm meal, especially dinner, is a luxury, not a daily occurrence.

3.  Doesn't matter how many times you have changed a diaper in your life.  You will get poop on your hands, the changing table, the wall, the floor. 

4.  Poop is a daily conversation, so get over any issues with it pre-baby

5.  Stubbed toes are another daily occurrence, especially in the middle of the night...so much stuff

6.  There is so much stuff you have to have for one tiny little person who isn't even mobile, and just wait until they can move.  You will have to get rid of your stuff to make room.  Bye bye whatever odd collection you love so much.

7.  Your friends without children really don't want to hang out with you anymore. No, not because drinking to 1 am is really not an option for your anymore, but mainly, because all you can talk about is your kids, poop, and how little sleep you got due to your kids poop.  Seriously, no one but you and your spouse care about your kids poop, and probably not even your spouse (my hubby has let me know) so we should all really try to stop.

8.  Stuffed animals will invade your home.  Why does anyone think they make a good gift?  I apologize to any one I may have gifted a stuffed animal to in my pre-child days as well as those really fun, obnoxious, loud toys (which will be the ones you stub your toes on in the middle of the night)

9.  You will live in an abyss of laundry that only grows exponentially with each additional child.  No matter how hard you try to stay atop of laundry, you will always be behind, or perhaps lost in the abyss.

10.  MOM.  DAD.  Those beautiful words SUCK and will make you feel old.  Doesn't matter your real or imagined age ( I'm still 27 in my head), the day your little one says mom rather than mommy, you will feel as though you have aged 10 years.  It is an ugly, oh so ugly day  (maybe a shower would help?). 

an open ended letter to my children

I know that I wasn't the first and I am sure that I will not be last, but while I was ending my first pregnancy I decided to write a letter to my then unborn child.  It is basically a  fear and hormone driven letter letting your child know that you are sorry for not being perfect, but love them more than you ever knew possible, and promising that you will be the best parent possible.  I know mommas, it is more than that, and personally it truly was a way for me to put down my hopes for my child(ren).  The other day I opened the letter I wrote to B over 3 years ago and I cried.  Wow, the fear I must have felt that I would somehow never manage to let her know what I truly want for her.  I'm sharing a few excerpts of this very personal letter Why? Because as parents, as humans, we often get so caught up in the day to day that we forget to look at the "BIG" picture, the things beyond academics that we want for our children. Because I believe everyone should take the time to do this for their children. Because if you don't have children you may not realize what those of us with them truly dream.  Finally, because I have decided to make this an open ended letter.  I have chosen to go into this letter, when the time sees fit, and add to, but never ever take away.  Maybe you should as well?  I have made it a letter to my children. A letter that sees past the daily occurrences and keeps the bigger picture in mind.  It is a piece of me.  I share this as a reminder that life is a journey, full of bumps in the road, especially parenting bumps, but in the end, a beautiful ride with glorious intentions.  These are ideas that I think every single person can benefit from and may need to hear from time to time.  Please keep any/all mean comments in your mean little heads, thank you.

.  ... ..... He has shown me that at the end of the day if you do not love who you are and what you do, then what is the point?

I am probably going to be telling you what to do or at least what I think you should do for the next 30+ years of your life.  You are probably not going to want to listen to me most of the time, but remember I love you and if nothing else try to live by the following:  

Get out: Outside, being in nature, where Gods gifts are untouched is the most beautiful place in the world.  Better yet, you get your fill of sunshine (vitamin D) and exercise, and more often than not a place to clear your thoughts and find peace.  Out of your comfort zone: it is too easy to go through life doing what comes easy to us, without taking any risk. But, if you truly want to have fun and discover who you are, push yourself beyond what you think you can do. Try something new, challenge your mind, body, and soul and in the end you will be stronger, wiser, and happier. ......

Have Faith:  In God….there will be times in your life when you feel no one and nothing is on your side, but I promise you, God is always with you and on your side.  Have faith and know that everything happens for a reason and God is behind it all….and we are lucky for that.  Have faith in your parents, we love you in a way that you will only comprehend when you have your own children.  Have faith in yourself.  You are capable of whatever you put your mind to.  We are limited only by our inability to believe in ourselves.  I didn’t say things would always come easy.  In fact, hard work is usually the only route towards achievement, but faith in yourself along with hard work, will guarantee you success.  

Fail:  Many people avoid trying new things because they are scared to fail.  How will you ever learn what you are capable of if you don’t try?  The answer: you won’t.  So go for it, whatever it may be, go after it and if you fail, what does it matter?  It doesn’t.  What matters are the lessons you learned in your attempt and the person you have become due to them.  No one is perfect, no one can succeed 100% of the time, and if someone did, he/she would not be having very much fun. The scrapes and scars that our attempts leave behind help to define who we become (just look at your dad, he is covered in scars and I love him more and more for each one)

Wow, a lot of time has passed since I've taken time to write to you.  You are a big sister now.  I realize now that this is not only a letter intended for you, Blaire, but this is to be shared with your sister, Sloane, and any other children your father and I may have (we are still on the fence ;) )  In the past three years I have learned more from you both than this letter can even hope to give to you girls.......

Happy thoughts, happy life.  Blessings

 

down and dirty workout

Remember quality ALWAYS beats quantity:  have at it

1 min each no rest between

Alternating side lunges,  lunge to side keeping stationary leg straight, keep knees stacked over ankles, drive from hips and glutes
Mountain Climbers : pull knee to opposite elbow, slow or fast, just have good form
Plié Squats
Plank Hold (or push ups if you can, also can do as many push ups as you can then hold a plank until time is up)

Rest 2 mins

Squat Pulses with jumps:  squat down, pulse low for 10 then complete 5 squat jumps 2-3xs
Tricep Dips 30 seconds
Side Planks, 30 secs each side
Lunge Jumps:  Get into a lunge, then jump, landing on the SAME side 10 each side

Stop here or Rest 2 mins and repeat a second time through

Remember What the mind believes the body achieves.

Hands off kid

The not so endearing everyday occurrences that make me want to scream, "Hands OFF, kid!"

I know, sharing is caring.  Yet, every time one of my girls goes to grab food from my plate I am bugged beyond belief.  I don't know what it is, yes, I do; I don't want to share my food.  You have your food on your plate, which is the exact same as what is on my plate, so come on kid, hands off!  I put this food here because I want to eat it not have you eat it for me...especially if it is dessert!

Everyone know that kids have the best sensors: they can sit and keep themselves entertained actually telling you to leave them alone, but the moment you need to get something done they know and therefore need you right then and there.  That can be bothersome in and of itself, but it's when I am standing there, trying to prep dinner and my pants are being yanked on and almost off that I want to scream, Hands off kid!  I am wearing these pants for a reason and would like to keep them on. Aw how cute she wants me to hold her.  Nope, sorry, I can't stand my pants being pulled on for attention.  I love my girls but that bugs and I often find myself shaking them off of my leg.   

My clothes are put away neatly in drawers and or hanging in my closet.  That is until one of these little munchkins decides that pulling out and showing whomever is around my underwear is a fun activity.  Or there is the pulling down of every shirt saying, "mommy this is pretty wear this", sorry kid I am not going to wear that fancy dress to the park today.  The part that bugs is that for every shirt she would like me to wear about 5 end up on the floor, which I then have to re hang.  Seriously, I know that is not a big deal and how cute is it that she wants to help dress me, however, it totally bugs me! Hands off my clothes kiddos.  I like them where they are thank you. 

Maybe I am OCD, maybe I am just a little mean, I don't know.  I just know that these, and I am sure there are a few others, small toddler behaviors I find far from endearing.  They irk me.  I love my kids.  I just wish that they knew to keep their hands off! 

July 4th Part 2

As someone who likes to entertain I'm always on the look out for little bits and pieces of extras to leave for my guests.  At Christmas, B and I made green Rice Krispie treats, cut them out in Tree shapes and decorated them with stars on top and a few sprinkles, tied them up in little baggies and put them out on everyone's dinner plate; a little take home dessert.  I picked that treat because it was easy for Blaire to assist me in doing.  I had no idea they would be such a hit, but then again who doesn't love a Rice Krispie Treat?  I will admit I make them with the healthier Brown Rice Krisps, but no one knows the difference.  We did a batch at Easter, eggs fully decorated with sprinkles and frosting.  Of course this means we are making a batch for the 4th!  We've only begun decorating (we had to get more colors today seeing as red white and green doesn't scream 4th of July).  I'm excited because I found food coloring markers!  Usually I refuse to use food coloring in our food (unless it's the natural kind), but I'm intrigued and  can't wait to try them later!

July 4th Activities, part 1

As any good stay at home would, I have started with some 4th of July activities.  Funny thing: my kids are 1 and 3, do they even give a rats bum about the 4th?  We will BBQ and maybe see the fireworks, though I don't feel up for dealing with the craziness of crowds so unless we can see them from our deck, we will miss them.  Oh well, I'm doing these activities anyway, but the truth is they can be done any day of the year :)

Fireworks in a Jar

I first saw this on Pinterest and spent some time looking at a few different websites and decided ok this must be cool.  Honestly, only slightly and it took us 4 tries to get it right!

Fill a jar 3/4 of the way with warm water (that was my mistake on the first 2 efforts)

In a separate bowl put 3-4 Tbsp oil then add in a few drops each of a few colors (food coloring)  Gently mix with a fork

Gently pour oil into water and VOILA! Fireworks!  Well, kind of.  The drops slowly fall through the oil and when they hit the water the color disperses. 

Failed attempt

On our 4th attempt we skipped the oil bowl.  We put the oil directly in the jar then once that settled at the top, we dropped the colors in.  I actually found that to work the best.  Though the oil and colors left some pretty designs in the bowl in the traditional method.  Either way, it's quick and fun for the little ones. 

I secretly love it

when the girls give daddy a tough time.  Call me mean, but I can't help but do a little tehehe when I hear his voice and attitude change.  As we all know, children are amazing actors.  I have learned that my children are generally their best for others, including daddy.  My girls can hold it together, more often than not, around others in order that they get the greatest amount of "oohs, ahhs", and "oh look how cutes'" as possible.  However, when they are done, it is mommy who suffers the wrath. Mommy is the one who gets screamed at, ran away from, ignored, etc.  Although this is a sign that they are their most comfortable with me, it gets to be unbelievably draining.  I am sure this is how the MOM VOICE was created.  Prior to having my own children I was proud of my teacher voice, but man, the mom voice takes the cake!  Its power over those around is stunning.  That combined with a little middle name and wowie! We have a sure fire way to get a kids attention.  My husband, on the other hand, finds any voice I use, other than my beautiful every day one, to be mean and bordering on yelling (I'm thinking he has never truly heard me yell, I love him for that).  He will often make comments or faces to let me know that he is not on board fully.  Sorry, hubby, but as any one who has spent an entire day with terrorists knows (yes, I believe that toddlers are a form of terrorist) at some point negotiations are futile and the niceties have to give way to other techniques...the mom voice and middle name.  Thus, on Sunday afternoon as I stood by and observed how our daughters were ignoring my husbands requests and continuing on their own merry ways, I smiled and chuckled as I heard him throw away the niceties, change his tone of voice and say, "come on, S. No! You may not do that.  Stop. ugh."  I could have assisted, but that would have been wrong; that would have deprived him of the feeling of defeat at the hands of a toddler.  I'm sure that he doesn't even realize what happened.  I, on the other hand, know.  I know that the girls can defeat him as well as me.  I know this and I secretly enjoy it.  It's good to know that I am not alone.

A dream world

"I wish I could live in her world."  That was what a friend of mine said last night while joining us for dinner.  I smiled.  I do live in her world, but not completely.  This is my daughters world:

She has multiple sisters and brothers who live in various placed, both in and out of California.  They have birthday parties almost daily, work at jobs, go to school, love broccoli but not her favorite kale salad (hmmm. B detests broccoli, but loves kale), etc.  She laughs as she tells me about her sisters and brothers, insists that they ARE her sisters and brothers because after all that is what she sees in her mind and her stories are endless tales full of purity, joy, and creativity.

She wrote a book about a hippopotamus.  The hippo colors in books.  The hippo drives a car. The hippo colors with, not on, his computer. The hippo eats.  The hippo does whatever she wants him to do because in her world there are no limits to possibility. 

She hangs her clothes out to dry while she struts proudly in the buff.   She tells me that my tummy looks big, my hair needs brushing, my shoulders look black, and that toes need painting.  She tells me that I'm pretty and that she loves me.  She tells me whatever is on her mind.  She is not afraid to be herself.

She asks "why" countless times a day, not to be annoying, rather she is genuinely curious as to why that particular bird in not flapping his wings yet still flying.  Or why the neighborhood cat roams all over the neighborhood.  Or how something broke.

She negotiates better than I.  No, mom.  I can play for (pause and look cute) 5 more minutes. How about 2 more minute?  Umm, 20 more minutes?  Ok, B, 5 more minutes (crap I'm a sucker).  This shirt with this skirt, not pants! Thank you mommy.

She screams. She screams because she is frustrated, angry, happy, sad.  She screams when I want to scream but can't because well 34 year olds don't go around screaming.  She screams because she wants to let the world knows what she wants and that she is going to do whatever it takes to get that desire met.  She screams because she is strong, determined, and confident. 

My daughter lives in this amazing world where imagination knows no limits, where pride out shines insecurity, and strength is both physical and mental.  In her world living true to your beliefs is rule, curiosity is the driving force, and making sure that others know where you stand is paramount.  I love her world.  I hope that she lives in this world as long as possible.  I pray that she takes as much from her world into the "real" as possible.  I want to live in her world.

One of those days

Deep breath.  Inhale, exhale. Repeat.  Again. Yea, not doing the trick today.  Wake up at 5 am with a screaming babes who then wakes the older one.  Paybacks to be given at nap time.  Luckily 3 year old jumps in bed with daddy and sleeps another 1.5.  Lucky me, I get to stay awake with a screaming 1 year old who just doesn't seem to want to be satisfied (though I'm sure breast feeding would do the trick but I'm staying strong on weaning).  Fast forward through breakfast: dressed getting ready to go out for a run with the double BOB.  One kid screaming about getting her hair brushed while the other is apparently trying to pull my shorts down while yelling.  After 3 attempts to appease baby, I let out a big "uuugggghhhh" and walk to the bathroom, where the husband seems to think that everyone is fine and happy and not giving me a tough go this am.  Really? Thanks hubby for joining in the love.  Finish run, baby asleep as planned, oh wait, 3 year old finds the loudest outside toy possible, baby awake; so much for a quick am power nap.  Errands, home play time, wow day is on the up and up.  Baby down for nap.  Hour later put 3 year old down.  Or so I thought.  She comes screaming for me, I was attempting to change the laundry.  Bring her back inside, oh, baby now awake.  Crap.  Put 3 yr. old back to bed, 1 year old, exhausted, miserable, refuses to fall asleep.  This mamma has tried all my tricks.  1 hr later 3 year old awake. Crap again.  1 hour nap is never ever long enough.  It's that point of being too long get back to sleep but not long enough to create a happy place for all.  Baby still screaming for I am not even sure what at this point.  3 year old screaming that she wants to go to swim lessons.  We will, in an hour when it's time to leave.  More screaming.  Please if you are going to scream go to the other room and do so and try to calm your body.  She's back in her room and now I'm getting the evil eye from the baby.  Seriously.  Deep Breaths. Inhale, Exhale, repeat.  F#$%! who am I kidding?!  Today will go down as one of those days.  I will enjoy some wine with dinner, which I will not be cooking. I will go to bed, exhausted, say my prayers, and hopefully fall asleep easily.  However, I am now and will later remind myself that although I do not particularly hope to remember today and/or savor these particular moments, I have two amazing children, one amazing husband, and one blessed life.  Time to rally the troops...fingers crossed.

Counting Blessings

We've had family in from Colorado the past week and have been spending as much family time as we could.  Sea Center, Park, Beach, BBQ's, Beach, Beach. Did I say Beach?  Needless I'm exhausted.  The girls have had their schedules adjusted, which means sleep has suffered, which means mommy has suffered.  I've complained to my husband about the crankiness (mine included) the poor quality of food being consumed by all, the time away from my normal schedule (I'm big on keeping to my schedule), etc etc etc. 

As I've looked over some pictures from the past week I realize, I'm a crazy B@#&%!  Why have I complained?  The last week, though crazy to a small extent, has been comprised of my girls getting to play with their 4 cousins.  It has been my husband getting to hang with his sisters.  My husband getting to bike with his partner and brother in law (one in the same).  It has been me having a chance to chat with my sister in law, mother of four children between the ages of 2-8.  A week of laughs, tears, friends coming together, family coming together, old stories, new stories, and yes, exhaustion.  Now, looking back at the week, I remember how blessed I am. How blessed my family is. 

In the daily grind of parenting we often forget to take moments to not only stop and observe, but rather to say thank you.  Thank you to whatever greater power you may or may not believe in, thank you for all of this amazingness.  I personally, often feel stressed at the end of the day.  I've heard enough loud voices, wiped enough dirt and tears, swept enough floors, assisted enough peeps, to the point of just collapsing on the couch or in bed and giving my husband a quick peck on the cheek and I love you, then falling asleep to prepare for the next day of crazy.  It's not that I am not grateful.  I am just caught up in each moment that I loose perspective. 

I'm going to make it my goal to refocus.  For instance, my husband just this moment, no lie, sent a text saying I Love you.  How lucky am I?  I have a man that takes a moment, albeit a small one, to remind me how he feels.  That's awesome.  Thank you God for this amazing man. 

I may make a blessings journal, but even if I don't I will be sure to remind myself to truly think before I complain.  I am not perfect, believe it or not ;), I will trip up and forget, especially when the kids are screaming and I am at my wits end.  However, I hope to be able to reflect back upon that craziness and though I plan to never miss it like crazy people claim I will someday, I will remind myself that I am one Blessed Momma.    

Kid Activities

The latest hit in our house is SLIME!  Turns out to be super easy to make and is not as messy as it sounds!  SCORE!  I will admit I first saw slime on Pinterest but then went online and found this recipe.  The nice thing is that it is a 1:1 ratio  of ingredients, so do it once and you will more than likely have it stored in memory. 

*1/4 cup of water
* 1/4 cup of white craft glue (like Elmer's glue)
* 1/4 cup of liquid starch (used for clothes)
* Food coloring (optional)
* Mixing bowl
* Mixing spoon

1. Pour all of the the glue into the mixing bowl.
2. Pour all of the water to the mixing bowl with the glue.
3. Stir the glue and water together.
4. Add your food color now - about 6 drops should do it.
5. Now add the liquid starch and stir it in.
6. It should be nice and blobby by now. As you play with your slimy concoction, it will become more stretchy and easier to hold.
7. Explore your slimy creation and store it in a zip bag when you are not using it.  

A second OMG why didn't I think of that activity:  tape paper all over the kids table and let them go to town!  My nanny did this with the girls, but then I decided to take it up a bit.  I brought out all kinds of craft items for gluing down.  Finally, we put down a bunch of large number and letter stickers.  On the number stickers I had Blaire put that number of stickers on or around the number.  She also traced and/or colored inside of the numbers and letters for extra practice!  Lots of fun, super easy...my kind of activity!

Please do not Helicpoter parent MY child

We have chosen to give our children a lot of freedom in the sense of exploration and risk taking.  I have never discouraged my children from trying to climb, run, swing, build, etc.  Maybe that is why my first born walked when she was only 8 months old?  I doubt it, but I don't know.  What I know is that I am raising confident young girls who are not afraid to try something new. 

I know that our parenting style is different from many others, but it has worked for us thus far. I never try to push my style on others, esp. strangers in a park.  Therefore, I ask that you other parents, especially those whom I do not know, please do not hover around my children and discourage them. 

This morning while playing in the park with the girls I asked that Blaire say something in order that I could hear her and place her (Kids World can be insane with two kids going opposite directions).  She did just as I asked, and I could tell she was basically directly above us, where I had expected.  Suddenly I hear a mothers voice telling her "No, don't do that.  Your mommy is down there.  NO, Claire, wait."  I realized she was talking to my daughter, Blaire, so I stated, "No she is okay".  Her response, "but she's not headed towards the slide but down the ladder!"  OMG!  Down the ladder?! Should I call the firemen?  Seriously lady?  I responded, "that's fine. She can do that if she'd like."  Well, Blaire, freaked out by some strange lady telling her that she was unable to do something, which mind you she has down countless times in the last 2 years without assistance, decides that maybe she can't after all.  She began to get herself on the top of the ladder and went berserk!  Screaming "No, I can't!"  I attempted to redirect her, "Blaire, we don't say can't.  It's how can I make this work?"  She looked, began again, and once again freaked.  After another attempt or two to reassure her, I realized that it was a lost cause, this woman had deterred her, had convinced her that she couldn't  climb a ladder.  Finally, I just had to remove myself from the situation and allow her to follow.  We did attempt to go back, yet she still believed that she was somehow unable to climb down the ladder.  She screamed some more.  The woman, seeing how my daughter was reacting did apologize, "I didn't mean for that to happen."  Well, then you should not have parented my child.  I was close by, we were speaking to one another, she was in no immediate danger. 

Another parent, seeing my daughter fall an entire 3 inches to the ground on her knees, gasped and reached for her.  I was a few feet away with the other child and usually B would wipe off and get back again.  Yet, because this parent was intent that my child must have terribly hurt herself, thus,B ran to me.  I helped wipe her off and reassured her.  Luckily, when she went back the other parent had left and B was free to continue jumping onto the rings and swing (though she started slowly) without the gasping and over reactions.  Kids fall.  It happens.  Again, she was in no immediate danger.

So please, I beg of you, if you chose to be an overbearing, helicopter parent, that is fine, but please keep your hovering to your own child(ren).  Do not condemn my children to the same fate as yours.  I am happy with how we are doing over here and would like my girls to continue to be strong, willing, confident, & trusting (of their own abilities and of my parenting).

Mommy Diaries

  In the last year or so I've seen a lot of blogs and articles revolving around the idea of the mommy wars, working vs. stay at home mom.  Then there is the whole US Weekly magazine grading celebrity moms based on information from a "source" or some picture the paparazzi snapped as they were trying to make a quick get away in hopes that their family could possibly have a moment of normalcy.  All of this got me thinking, we need to stop.  STOP looking at other moms and making judgments. STOP saying who has it harder or easier. STOP making excuses for what you do or do not do as a parent.   None of us are perfect, even if we have moments of grandeur.

Entry no. 1:
     My hamper is overflowing with laundry that is bordering on smelly.  Today was my first shower since Sunday, which I just realize means I only went one day without...not bad, hopefully I can keep that up this week.  Toys from this morning are strewn across my living room floor because I didn't have the energy to sing the clean up song and motivate everyone.  Uggh, so tired of always cleaning up.  Blaire went out without her hair brushed because the thought of her screeching about not wanting it brushed was enough to frazzle me so I opted out of hair brushing.  I wonder if Daisy will come eat that pile of crumbs if I let it sit for two more minutes so I don't have to clean it up?  I'm tired. I should probably go put on some make up, nah.

 That's all the honest truth; the behind the scenes that many people don't really see.  On the surface:  I taught two classes this morning, Spinning and Barre, went on a quick 4 mile run, took the girls and their baby dolls out on a stroll to see the horses, showered, grocery shopped, Sloane's music class, lunch/snack with Blaire, and got both girls down for nap.  This afternoon will consist of Blaire's swim lesson, girls shower, snack, cooking dinner, dinner, bedtimes.  Have you graded me yet?  An A for surface crap and a C for the reality. 

     My goal when becoming a mostly stay at home mom was that I would become super mom/super wife.  I had this idea that my house would be spotless, my children always entertained with amazing activities I created, all meals home made from scratch, I'd exercise as much as always, and only have a smile on my face because this was fun and easy.  Man, did I fall short of my own expectations.  Then I think, well what were these expectations based upon?  Who or what is a super mom?  Some how between the "mommy wars", the media, and other misguided beliefs I fell into the trap that sadly many of us do, mommies or not.  That there is some ideal that we need to live up to, in order to be a great mommy.  Who makes us believe this crap?!   A job, whether it's being a mom or working on wall street, is not always fun and is not always easy.  There are times when we want to rip our hair out, scream, and possibly run the other direction.  Seriously, I am jealous of my three year old because she can get away with that kind of behavior.  We don't. 

Entry No. 2:
     Sometimes there is so much going on, that I end up in survival mode.  Pick this kid up with this arm, threatening the other. YES I KNOW! Threats are stupid because we all know I would never leave my child, but right now I'm tired, I've tried everything else, and those were the words that came out of my mouth.  And, well, it worked.  I'm a terrible mom.  Why would I ever make my kid think that I am leaving her?  I'm a pro attachment parenting parent.  Did I just scar my child?  Will she remember that in 5, 10, 20 years?  Crap.  Crap, is that a bad word?   Should I not say that in front of my kids? It's not like its shit or fuck.  Oh, sorry. 

There, that is reality.  I am not a Super mom.  I am not a Bad mom.  I believe that I a good mom.  I do my best each and every day to do what's best for my family.  I exercise to keep myself healthy and sane and to give my girls a good example.  I make 85% of the meals around here, mostly from scratch, but I can dial take out with the best of them.  I allow my kids to be kids, get dirty, explore, have fun.  I have threatened to leave my kids behind if they don't come this minute. I have cried in exhaustion.  I have laughed myself to tears while playing.  I have said curse words.  I have tried to make them think I said something else.  I am a MOM.  Give me an A or an F, I don't care.  Because really you are in no way grading me.  You are grading some idea of what you think should be, based on something you don't even know.  Until you walk a day in my shoes, maybe a week, kids know when to play good, you have no clue!  Stop judging because all you are doing is creating more stress for yourself, more ideas of what you should or shouldn't be doing.  Instead, bask in your moments of grandeur, hell don a cape if you'd like, and drink a glass of wine to get you through the other 95% of the time.   Enjoy the parts that are enjoyable and in the rough times remember that this too shall pass, and maybe have some more wine.

Quickie

Trained one of my favorite male clients today.  Why is he a fav?  He is willing to try anything and always works hard.  Here are a few things we did today that make for a great quickie workout (you thought I was going to talk mommy daddy quickies, get your mind out of the gutter.  Besides anyone with two kids knows that that is almost all there is so there isn't too much to tell ;))

Burpees:  squat, hands down, jump (or step) feet back into a plank), push up, jump feet forward, jump  (or stand) up.  can hold a medicine ball if you have one (press it overhead as you stand).  I'd do 5-8 at a time do 1-2 other exercises and  then another set of these, completing 3-4 sets, great cardio addition

Mountain Climbers:  Hold plank, pull knee across body towards opposite elbow, switch sides, repeat 10-20 per side.  Can also do these pulling same knee to same elbow (Rt to Rt)

Stationary Lunges:  Up and Down 15 per side
Rotational Work:  Sit with knees bent feet on the floor, hinge back, rotate your torso from side to side, tapping the floor on each side (can be done holding a weight)

Plié with Lateral Bending:  Stand wide, externally rotated out from hips, bend knees into a plié squat, hold.  Place hands behind head, bend right elbow towards right knee, keeping upper body as upright as possible, switch to other side.  Side to side 10-15 times. 

Push ups:  Chest and Triceps (difference is narrow hand placement, elbows go back in triceps push ups but never drop below elbow height) 10-20 each

Bicep Curls

Don;t have weights or a medicine ball?  Another client of mine who was on bed rest for 10 weeks, used Soup cans!  Or you can try water bottles, various sizes = various weights.

YOu can do this 1 time through or 3-4 times through, whatever you have time for, just remember the important thing is that you are moving, staying healthy, especially if you have little ones!

Father's day

Like any good mommy I've spent some time on Pinterest, looking for what wonderful things I can have the girls make for their daddy for Father's day.  Two years ago it was the heart with Blaire's footprints and statement, from the bottom of my heart to the tips of my toes, I love you.  Cute, right?  Last year I had them make handprint flowers with the words "our love grows".  Not bad.  Both concepts I found either online or on Pinterest because I am not an elementary school teacher!  I don't ever recall making these kinds of things for either of my parents unless it was in school.  Maybe it's because I am the youngest of 3 kids to a single mother, but honestly I don't recall any of my friends making these kinds of things either.  Which brings me to my Pinterest rant.  It's the devil!  People, elementary school teachers turned parents, I'm sure of it, starting putting up pictures of all the cute things they did with their kiddos to give as gifts, and BOOM!  Now, the rest of us, trying to be crafty but our 3 years olds stuff looks nicer- parents, are always scrambling around trying to make something cute and fun that still looks nice.  Notice, I didn't put pictures up of the aforementioned Father's Day crafts?  Really not that cute, or at least not as nice as the ones posted on Pinterest.  There is this over whelming pressure, whether or not you choose to admit it, to create all of these cutesy little crafts and home made gifts because social media has them posted all over so other parents must be doing them and you have to or you may not be as good as a parent.  Yadda yadda yadda. I know because I have fallen into that category, both ends of it, the leader of look at what we did, and the follower, oh crap here let's put your footprints inside of a heart so that you can give a wonderful gift as well.  What I've learned is that yes I can make some cool stuff and the girls really do love it and we have fun.  But, I waste so much time looking online that I never get half the shit done that really needs to get done.  Those of you making your own "upcycled" headboards and lanterns and gazebos and whatever crap Pinterest in spewing out can attest to that; though you may have this neat "upcycled" (love that word, dumbest new word in our techie language) headboard, what did you miss doing to complete that task?  So as I sit here complaining via social media how social media damns us all, making us feel like we need to be doing more, whether it's cooking, fighting for some cause, or one of these odd crafts, remember this, what you do, what you have, what you give, is more than good enough, because it's yours, not some over achievers idea that you are trying to force on yourself or your kids. 

This year, I looked all over Pinterest and just couldn't get myself to go out and get canvas and make hand prints or footprints or face prints or what ever prints; we are making a popsicle stick frame.  The girls covered it in glitter helped me glue it together and now I need to somehow make it stand up.  I take tons of pictures anyway so it seemed practical.  Because at the end of the day, as a mom, as a sane individual, practicality needs to win.  No pictures. Not because it's not nice (though I'm sure only my husband and I would ever pay for it) it's just too special to share.  That is what Father's Day is about, giving someone special something special from our heart ( not pinterests') to his. 

Another Brick in the Wall

I will never forget the look of relief on my mothers face after hanging up the phone (which was rotary) with a teacher who was kind enough to call and let her know that my brother was not a terrible boy, he was in fact, a normal pre-teen boy.  Had that teacher not called, my brother would more than likely have been sent to military school.  Or the laughter from my father when he realized that my first born daughter, celebrating her birthday in a tutu, was yes indeed sitting in a planter box full of dirt playing and that she had no intention of climbing out anytime soon.  "She's a dirtball!"  "Why, yes, dad, she is and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Just like we expect babies to be babies, eat, shit, and sleep, we should expect kids to be kids.   Yet, for some reason our society truly doesn't.  I just picked up Parents magazine and on the cover in bold was, "how to prepare your child for pre school and the best apps to use"  REALLY?  Pre school prep?  Isn't that the purpose of pre school, to prepare kids for elementary school?  Why do they need to be prepped for prep?  Then there is the whole issue that children MUST be potty trained to even go to half the pre schools out there, by age 2.  Though, if you do your research GI specialists, will explain how forcing children to potty train before they are truly ready may often lead to GI issues such as UTI's Constipation, IBS, etc. And apps for pre-preschoolers?  Really, little ones should be spending their time in front of computer screens, that's what best for them? For us?  NO, NO, NO!

We seem to think that kids, starting as young as birth need to conform to a certain set of standards.  That these standards are what is going to make them smart and strong and beautiful and the best future leaders of the Free World.  Kind of an oxy-moron, isn't it?  Leaders of the Free World, not being free themselves, rather being wiped squeaky clean after every contact with dirt instead of being left to go run free? Forced to poop on the potty before they fully understand the bodily sensations. Forced to "play" "interactive" games on an I-Pad in order to know their ABC's, 123's, pleases and Thank-you's? Rather than truly interacting with the world via outside playtime, blocks, park time, etc ? Has this really made our country smarter? stronger? more beautiful?  Again, NO, NO, NO!  In fact, we are still trailing behind in the major academic areas compared to the rest of the world.  The amount of children who are being labeled as ADD, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (yes it exists), Emotionally Disturbed, etc has actually INCREASED! Yet, we continue to force kids to do things a certain way by a certain time. 

What do you think a 2, 3, 4 year old would want to be doing?  OR even an 11, 12, 13 year old? 

"Teacher, leave the kids alone."  And by teacher, I mean you, parents, caregivers, family members, etc.

Kids NEED to be kids!  They need to be allowed to go out and play.  They need to learn in their own way and own time.  Kids have to explore the world!  Trial and error has always proven to be one of the BEST ways to learn, so yes, I am saying let your kid fall (within reason).  Let your child roll in the dirt, splash in puddles, eat the sand, run naked down the street, have a tantrum, paint themselves rather than the paper, and so on.  Besides this being a great way to learn, it's how kids build confidence in themselves and yes in their caregivers.  It's how children learn who they are, what they enjoy, what their strengths and weaknesses are.  They need to be allowed the freedom to play, true unstructured play.  STOP trying to make your child fit into whatever wall your school, friends, family (they tend to be the most vocal), society, has place before you.  LET THE KIDS BE KIDS!!!

If you do all of this, I promise you,  you WILL pull your hair out a little more than you may like, you WILL have more to clean up, and you WILL be tired.  BUT, your child(ren) will be happier, and more likely to do better in all areas later in life, since they were allowed to learn who they are and be themselves.  Oh, and I guarantee you WILL have SO MUCH MORE FUN!  (disclaimer, I am not a Dr, psychologist, or anyone who can give medical advice; I'm just a former teacher and mom living life and making observations and judgments, take them, leave them, just don't blame me, you are or at least should be in control of your life choices, but I guess if you were never allowed to just be a kid  you may feel the need to fall into my wall ; ) don't be stupid)

 

If you grow it, they will eat it

FRESHLY picked, kale (2 types), spinach, Romaine, and Beet Greens



add in some frozen organic peas and a little pear



It

 
 

It is not every day that you witness a 1 year old and 3 year old fight over who gets to eat the greens.  My girls do and did!  I have learned that if we grow it, they will eat it.  After all, they help water and weed the garden so what comes out must taste awesome!   I do blanch the kale and beet greens to make them more easily digestible, throw them along with the Romaine, spinach, 1/4 of a pear, and some peas into the food processor just enough so that my 3 toothed child can eat more easily (no molars for grinding yet) and VOILA...SUPER GREENS.  Super YUMMY!  Goes very quickly in this house. 

To go along with a little food stuff, how's about a fit tip.  Work out in intervals this week.  Try 1 minute intervals followed by 30 secs rest.  These can be resistance or cardiovascular.  Just mix it up, get that heart rate pumping and have fun!  Exercise should be fun!  It should make you feel good and wanting more.  have a great week

Number Practice

Just a cute little activity we do to kill the time and work on counting. I bought 3 colors of felt, made a tree and some apples.  Using glitter glue, because what's not to love about glitter glue, I write the numbers 1-10 on separate squares of felt.  Nothing is glued together (the beauty of felt), which helps make this interchangeable.  We play 2 ways:  1.  I put a number on the tree and Blaire has to place that many apples on the tree, OR 2.  Blaire has to pick that many apples from the tree. Super easy, good for counting skills as well as fine motor dexterity. 





looking for more apples to put on

 

The thing about Pre School

Especially now that Blaire has reached the age of 3 I feel as if I am constantly asked where and when she will be attending preschool.  The look on people's faces, as if my answer if horrific, or better yet some of the comments, "well, she may not pass the entry skills for Kindergarten." when I state that Blaire will not be attending Pre School this fall and maybe not next either, blows me away. Hello, not your kid, not your concern.  Still, I always feel the need to defend our families choice.  The funny thing is I never attended pre school, neither did my siblings before me.  I know very few of my friends who actually attended pre school and those that did didn't attend until at least the age of 4, for true pre school, the year prior to Kindergarten.  This brings a lot of confusion to me.  For myself, I was always on honor roll, graduated college with honors, have a masters degree in Special Education, hold advanced certifications in Pilates, and yup, I NEVER attended pre school.  In fact, I didn't even have a stay at home parent.  I was sent to the neighbors house until my older siblings or neighbor kids got home to watch me. 

When my husband and I decided that I would no longer work full time in order that I could be home with our oldest child, it was not a decision made lightly.  In fact, I was gravely against it until I spoke in depth with my therapist and realized that being home with my child was what would be best for me and our family.  This decision came along with a HUGE salary loss, which created a shift in our lives.  [Thus, those of you who say how lucky I am that I don't have to work (and other stay at home parents for that matter), please know that that's a bad statement.  It comes down to priorities, what we are willing to live with and without.  As a child of a single mother, I fully understand that some parents NEED to work in order to keep food on the table and a roof over head.  However, owning a home, or the newest clothes, coolest gadgets, big vacations, etc are not necessities in life.  We were willing to forgo on these & other extras in order for me to be a stay at home mother.]  With the decision to stay at home, I decided that home was the BEST school for our children.  As a former teacher, I have seen the role that parenting plays in a child's life.  I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I do my best to only provide the good, but let's face it, I am human and I know that even I am not a perfect parent.   I believe that family is the most important teacher in a child's life. 

Yet, every time I am asked about Pre School I can't help but second guess my gut instinct.  After all there are some days that between the little work I do outside of the home and errands, my time away equates to part time preschool.  Although, when I am gone the girls still have a 2-1 ratio, and isn't small class size the biggest desire of all teachers and parents alike?  Doesn't research prove that children learn more in smaller environments with more individualized attention?  Still, I had to look back into some of my reading to re-evaluate my decision.  I came across the following from The Whole Brain Child, by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. :
                            
                             "When kids spend time with the most important people in their life, they develop
                               important relational skills like communicating and listening well, interpreting
                               facial expressions, understanding nonverbal communication, sharing, and
                               sacrificing.  But also, in relationships, children develop models about how they
                               themselves fit into the world around them, and how relationships work." 

I had a HUGE sigh of relief.  This was not what made my decision, but helped reaffirm my decision.  My hope for my children is that they grow up to not only be good academic students, but that they are compassionate, empathetic, sympathetic, motivated, and genuinely good people. Can they get some of that in school, sure, but not in nearly the same capacity and not without some kid(s) teaching the opposite.   For my family, those lessons start here, in our home.  The way I look at it, once my girls are in school, they will be in school for a long time.  I don't believe that that time needs to start now.  Now is the time for my children to learn that they are loved and that they can trust that we will always be here for them.  

In no way am I saying that Pre school is the wrong choice.  For some families, it is the best choice. 

todays snack

Blaire and I had to compromise on snack today.  If it were up to her, she would eat a giant bowl of fruit and nothing else.  We agreed to half of an apple, cored, and stuffed with goat cheese & raisins.  It was quick, easy, and made us both happy. 

 

Now, we debate on our Father's Day craft.  She really wants to make daddy a truck.  I'm thinking popsicle stick frame.  Possibly a truck frame?  I'll let you know.

kid you are sucking the life out of me



I am a proud breast feeding momma.  I truly believe that if you can physically do it (breast feed) then you should.  (however, I do not think you are a bad mamma if you choose not to, that's the beauty of choice).  For me, it just seems that that is what nature intended so why mess with nature.


sb zoo baby giraffe just went in for some milk...it's just natural

It is also convenient, free, more nutritional, and comforting for all.  I've proudly whipped out the boobies at all times of day and in all kinds of places, including the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney Land.   The babes is now 14 months and sadly I'm screaming in my head, "ENOUGH ALREADY!"  I've just come to this point where I'm done; mentally, I'm done.  Honestly, at 14 months there is no nutritional value to breastfeeding, at least that I am aware of and my Dr. informed me prior to my first born; it's more about the immunities transferring and comfort. Besides, she is eating real food all day long, you would think she had a bottomless pit for a stomach; thus, breast milk really is not needed.  Yet, when she is fussing at 1 am because for some odd reason my 14 month only has 3 teeth (one which was new this week) and is in pain, and she's reaching for the rocking chair (the only place I still nurse her) I don't have it in me to tell her no.  I'll be honest, part of that is out of fatigue, momma needs some sleep, but a larger part is because I just want her to feel better, even if it makes me feel, not worse, but not better. I have to tell ya, when I look at my boobs all I can think is, "really, are you even getting anything, because sweetie they don't look so voluminous." The last two weeks she has gone from 2-3 nursing's a day back to 4-5, and I have become exhausted again.  Literally, I feel like the life is being sucked from my being.  It's good to be needed and all, but sometimes mommy needs a break (bathroom time is another big one).  To those women who breast feed 2, 3, 4 years, I am in awe because I don't know how you can physically and emotionally do it, so Bravo.  To those of you like me, who reach a breaking point, I believe that that is okay. It seems to be natures way of saying, okay it's time for baby to move forward; hell in the wild it's like nurse for a few weeks then see ya, best of luck out there is the jungle.  I'm venting.  I know that things will get better, and I will no longer get the life drained out of me multiple times a day.  Honestly, if she doesn't choose to stop, them I will have to choose for her, because a drained mommy is not the best for anyone.  We shouldn't feel like we are bad for wanting it to end.  I won't feel bad for wanting my child to not be a nursing baby any longer.

I love my husband, but...

sometimes I want to ring his neck.  Let me preempt with this, I could not have asked for a better more loving husband and father to me & my girls.  I have on more than one occasion wondered how I got so lucky, but shrug and count my blessings.  Yet, there is something that by the time it gets to be close to dinner time, 5:30 or so, and the girls are getting their cranky hungry selves on, that gets me all twisted.  Then when the hubby rolls in (literally, he bikes to work on most days) at 6 and decides that it is time to throw the ball to the dog or give the girls bike rider food to taste, or jump on the swing set, because everyone should come outside barefoot in their jammies after bath, my panties get in a bunch!  Call me crazy or a B%$*!, but come on, everyone has been quasi patiently waiting for you to get home so that we can eat and really this is what you need to do at this moment.  Or better yet, the few nights when he is in charge of the protein (I'll eat red meat, but I wont cook it)  he has to open the junk mail...yup JUNK mail before he can start.  Seriously, makes me want to ring his neck.  The baby is freaking because she wants to eat, the older one grabs any snack she can find (which means dinner will become a battle), and I've already gotten everything else ready to go, and he needs to check on the junk mail!  Uggh! Then there are the times when I remind him, "ok, we will be leaving in one hour."  He nods.  "Ok, leaving in 30 minutes."  He nods.  "Ok, I've got the girls packed up, leaving in ten."  He finds that it is time to water the garden and oh wait he doesn't have any clean pants (or at least clean ones that he feels fit/are appropriate/comfortable, hell if I know).  Seriously?  I've been reminding you for an hour that we had to get going and NOW, with 10 minutes left to go, NOW is when you need to do this crap? What is it about men?  Or maybe it's just my man.  I don't know, but I can tell you this, it drives me up a wall.  I was raised to be on time, because it's proper and respectful.  This is the kind of crap that makes you late.  I seriously get anxiety.  Then there is just the pure stupidity of it all, bike food for a toddler, playing dog with ball at dinner time, reading junk mail.  Truly, I love my husband and can not imagine my life without him, but some times I wonder if he wants to be celibate the remainder of his life.

Beach Ready

As an avid exerciser and someone who has worked in large fitness clubs as well as small studios, I am always amused how certain times of year yield specific requests from clientele or an increase in clientele.  Don't get me wrong, I believe any reason that gets you moving is good, so if wearing shorts and tanks is your motivator, awesome. 

As a high school and college athlete, I've tried a lot of different workouts.  I've injured myself.  I've forced myself to keep going through injuries; hell I played an entire lacrosse season on a broken ankle.  When you're young you can get away with those types of things, you WILL pay the price later, but in those prime years you will move on.  As I got older and things began to creak and click, I realized that there was absolutely no reason why I should be exercising as if I was still in college training.  It's not like I am going out tomorrow and competing against a bunch of 18-19-20 year old chicks with lacrosse sticks anymore.  It was the body creaks and this realization that led me to Pilates.  After just a few mat classes I determined that this was something I wanted to pursue.  Years later I find myself working for the Master Trainer who certified me and loving every minute of my job. 

When my Master Trainer, Boss, and now friend, Chanda Fetter told me she was opening a private studio I jumped at the chance to follow her.  One of my better life decisions.  To the point:  quickly we noticed that clients were telling us how many compliments they were recieiving and how surprised they were seeing as they had stopped going to the gym and were only doing Pilates.  HMMMM?  Yup, it was challenged to us trainers to try the same thing.  I took on the challenge, because that's how I do it.  I was willing to give it 2-3 months.  I mean 2-3 months away from the gym seemed like an eternity.  Holy CRAP!  I was not prepared for the results.  MY BODY TOTALLY CHANGED.  In no way was I trying to loose weight, but I lost a little.  More importantly I toned up and tucked in in places I had never before been able to.  Even better, my body felt good.  I didn't hurt.  I became stronger.  Do I think Pilates is amazing?  Hell yea.  Do I think everyone needs to do it?  Yes.  BUT what I believe and know to be more important is that its all about doing something and sticking with that one thing to get the results you want.  If you are doing 5 different styles of workouts each week how does your body ever understand what it is you are trying to make it do?  One moment you are trying to get it to train like a college athlete, the next contort in yoga, followed by pilates, followed by heavy weight training, etc.  Besides the fact that you end up sore and frustrated that you don't see the expected results, it's too much to stick with, so more often than not we quit.  It doesn't make sense.  If you want to run a marathon, you run. Thus, if you want long lean muscles think Pilates, barre, yoga.  Bulkier muscles (testosterone is needed to truly bulk) heavy weight training.  Get it? 

So here is my message:  Get beach ready or whatever ready it is you are looking to get.  Set a goal, pick something to do that you can do and can stick to doing it.  I promise that that is what is going to get you your results.  Oh and a few good exercises for those beach parts:  triceps dips, planks, push ups, squats, plié squats, ab work, including obliques (rotational (twisting torso) and lateral (side) bending.  And don't forget that DIET is more important!  You are what you eat!
 XO

The hardest thing about being a Mom

Is keeping someone alive.  WHAT?  So there I am running away on the treadmill, watching Frasier re-runs, man that was a GREAT show, and a commercial comes on for a show called, I think, Pretty Wicked Moms.  To me the name sounded like it would be a show about moms who commit crimes or something.  Hell if I was wrong.  The tag lines were things like, "all moms want to be hot moms", "I won't go to a play date unless there is alcohol served", and my favorite, "the hardest thing about being a mom is keeping another human being alive."

What has the world come to?  Some people should just not be parents.  There, I've said it.  Maybe worse, I fully believe it.  I have been keeping myself alive for a pretty long time, and although I had help as a child, I would think that prior to having my own children I learned a thing or two about staying alive.  Barring any illness, disability, etc., why should keeping someone alive be the hardest thing about being a mom??  Yet, it got me thinking.  What IS the hardest part about being a mom, or parent for that matter?  Is it truly that I have to keep others alive?  That I now have to put others first?  That I can no longer do things on my timeline, but have to keep naps, child care availability, etc. in alignment prior to just going and doing something?  Or that I can't use the restroom without interruption?  Maybe that I don't shower everyday? (doubtful, I'm not sure I did that prior to kids).  The loss of sleep?  The loss of husband wife alone time? 

Honestly, I really am not sure what is the hardest thing about being a parent.  Some days it is the total fatigue.  Others it's the ability to take a deep breathe and not scream in the same manner as my 3 year old because even though that would most accurately describe how I feel, it would be a terrible example and irresponsible form of parenting.  Some days it's the fact that I am the farthest thing from looking like a hot mom & I wonder did I lose part of myself (I was hot, after all pre kids ;) )?  I do miss wearing the pretty shoes in my closet, but sneakers are oh God I'm going to say it, just more practical. 

I wish I could tell you what is the hardest part about being a parent.  I don't believe it's keeping another human being alive, because if that was the hardest part of being a parent then truly anyone could be a parent, and that is something that I don't believe (ignoring basic biology here).  Because to be a parent you need to be able to hold in the screams, get dirty like a 3 year old, be okay with being smelly & not having a spotless home, and understand that you are far from a perfect parent and perfect person, because those people do NOT exist.  We all have days that make us feel like bad parents.  LIGHTBULB! I just realized that that is the hardest thing about parenting, getting through the days that make us feel like we are in over our heads and are bad parents, moving forward into the next day or even moment, knowing that we aren't bad parents; we love our children and would go to the ends of the earth to give them whatever it is they need.  Remember that, I plead you!  Remember that it's in that moment when you are ready or already ripping the hair from your own head or in tears because you feel horrible for how you got through a situation (unless it involves violence), that it is right then that you are riding through the toughest aspect of your most difficult and wondrous job, being a parent!  XO

Birthdays

Well, it seems another year came and went.  Each time one of my girls has a birthday all I can think is, "man, another year gone by that fast."  Yes, it makes me feel old.  I'm realizing that that is probably the reason why kids parties have gotten out of hand.  These parties are a chance for us parents, who are feeling old & tired, a chance to whoop it up like a bunch, in my case, of 3 year olds!  So, yes, I am that parent. The one who has a theme based party and runs with the them from top to bottom.  It's a lot of work, but in the end when everyone is having a grand ole time, I am happy. 

First birthdays were easy; I stole it from Sesame Street.  Blaire's b-day was brought to us by the letter B and #1 and Sloane's the letter S and #1.  Blaire's 2nd:  turtle themed. And this past weekend b-day #3 was a painting party!  Although I am still exhausted, it was her best party yet! 

I thought I'd share her 3rd birthday party from invite to end.  Yes, I am a little crazy.  I am also happy to share anything that I did, because I think it's fun. 


I don't do Evite's or Paperless Post.  I'm not that eco friendly and honestly I think that invites in the mail is just a nicer gesture.  Doesn't mean I think you are bad if you use technology, I just prefer old school when it comes to these kinds of things.  A few minutes in Microsoft Word and VOILA:

Blaire loves to paint and do all things craft related.  I am often amazed at how long she will spend on her projects. Painting.  That's easy.  Gets a bunch of paint, brushes, paper, let the kids go to town.  Easy enough:  Staple cardboard to deck posts, paper to cardboard, put down a painters tarp to keep ground clean.  I also wanted to keep the kiddos as clean as possible (so parents wouldn't be bummed with me), thus aprons from amazon.com and a stencil from Michael's = individual art smocks, a useful favor!  I used a little cooking twine to create a clothesline.   While in Michael's I also found those old school window painting activities, $1 each.  Score! 

 

Next came the food!  Since Painting was the theme I decided that everything had to be colorful.  Blaire wanted pizza.  Seeing as I am crazy I spent time the day before making 20+ pizza dough's.  It's all about creating an assembly line.  I used a food network recipe, specifically Anne Burnell's.   I topped the pizzas a few different ways, all of which had a red sauce on top: bell peppers, spinach, and goat cheese, plain cheese, cheese and pepperoni (Apple gate uncured), sun dried tomato & artichoke with goat cheese.  I also served a tri-colored pasta salad with asparagus, tomato, feta, and an organic Italian dressing. Then came my favorite part, with a painters paint palette/tray in mind, I wanted to create a palette of colors on the table and went with the idea of making various colored dips and served them out of paint cans.  I made a red beet, white bean hummus (Weelicious recipe) which was PINK!  A tropical Guacamole (one of my new fav baby food recipes) with coconut meat and mango, our GREEN dip.  A Peanut Butter Carrot Dip, ORANGE!  My mother in law made her Marshmallow Fruit Dip (which I was going to dye yellow as its naturally tinted orange/yellow, but she was late so it stayed an orange yellow color).  Red strawberries on skewers, a layered fruit salad served in a giant green bucket.  The Piece de Resistance, home made Vanilla Tye Dye Cupcakes with Vanilla Buttercream frosting or vanilla cream cheese frosting!  YUMMY! 

 

 

 

What did I forget?  Oh, water for the guests (and I had a few pregnant guests), extra beer, tortilla chips, and I am sure a few other things.  Did it mater?  NOPE!  In the end, and it was a long day, it was a blast!  Not one kiddo shed a tear or left clean.  In my book, that is a GREAT DAY.  I would like to send a HUGE THANK YOU to all of our family and friends who came and celebrated with us and Blaire!  We are so very blessed to have such amazing people to surround us.  That is truly what we celebrate on each birthday, our blessings.  XOXO