The thing about Pre School

Especially now that Blaire has reached the age of 3 I feel as if I am constantly asked where and when she will be attending preschool.  The look on people's faces, as if my answer if horrific, or better yet some of the comments, "well, she may not pass the entry skills for Kindergarten." when I state that Blaire will not be attending Pre School this fall and maybe not next either, blows me away. Hello, not your kid, not your concern.  Still, I always feel the need to defend our families choice.  The funny thing is I never attended pre school, neither did my siblings before me.  I know very few of my friends who actually attended pre school and those that did didn't attend until at least the age of 4, for true pre school, the year prior to Kindergarten.  This brings a lot of confusion to me.  For myself, I was always on honor roll, graduated college with honors, have a masters degree in Special Education, hold advanced certifications in Pilates, and yup, I NEVER attended pre school.  In fact, I didn't even have a stay at home parent.  I was sent to the neighbors house until my older siblings or neighbor kids got home to watch me. 

When my husband and I decided that I would no longer work full time in order that I could be home with our oldest child, it was not a decision made lightly.  In fact, I was gravely against it until I spoke in depth with my therapist and realized that being home with my child was what would be best for me and our family.  This decision came along with a HUGE salary loss, which created a shift in our lives.  [Thus, those of you who say how lucky I am that I don't have to work (and other stay at home parents for that matter), please know that that's a bad statement.  It comes down to priorities, what we are willing to live with and without.  As a child of a single mother, I fully understand that some parents NEED to work in order to keep food on the table and a roof over head.  However, owning a home, or the newest clothes, coolest gadgets, big vacations, etc are not necessities in life.  We were willing to forgo on these & other extras in order for me to be a stay at home mother.]  With the decision to stay at home, I decided that home was the BEST school for our children.  As a former teacher, I have seen the role that parenting plays in a child's life.  I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I do my best to only provide the good, but let's face it, I am human and I know that even I am not a perfect parent.   I believe that family is the most important teacher in a child's life. 

Yet, every time I am asked about Pre School I can't help but second guess my gut instinct.  After all there are some days that between the little work I do outside of the home and errands, my time away equates to part time preschool.  Although, when I am gone the girls still have a 2-1 ratio, and isn't small class size the biggest desire of all teachers and parents alike?  Doesn't research prove that children learn more in smaller environments with more individualized attention?  Still, I had to look back into some of my reading to re-evaluate my decision.  I came across the following from The Whole Brain Child, by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. :
                            
                             "When kids spend time with the most important people in their life, they develop
                               important relational skills like communicating and listening well, interpreting
                               facial expressions, understanding nonverbal communication, sharing, and
                               sacrificing.  But also, in relationships, children develop models about how they
                               themselves fit into the world around them, and how relationships work." 

I had a HUGE sigh of relief.  This was not what made my decision, but helped reaffirm my decision.  My hope for my children is that they grow up to not only be good academic students, but that they are compassionate, empathetic, sympathetic, motivated, and genuinely good people. Can they get some of that in school, sure, but not in nearly the same capacity and not without some kid(s) teaching the opposite.   For my family, those lessons start here, in our home.  The way I look at it, once my girls are in school, they will be in school for a long time.  I don't believe that that time needs to start now.  Now is the time for my children to learn that they are loved and that they can trust that we will always be here for them.  

In no way am I saying that Pre school is the wrong choice.  For some families, it is the best choice. 

todays snack

Blaire and I had to compromise on snack today.  If it were up to her, she would eat a giant bowl of fruit and nothing else.  We agreed to half of an apple, cored, and stuffed with goat cheese & raisins.  It was quick, easy, and made us both happy. 

 

Now, we debate on our Father's Day craft.  She really wants to make daddy a truck.  I'm thinking popsicle stick frame.  Possibly a truck frame?  I'll let you know.

kid you are sucking the life out of me



I am a proud breast feeding momma.  I truly believe that if you can physically do it (breast feed) then you should.  (however, I do not think you are a bad mamma if you choose not to, that's the beauty of choice).  For me, it just seems that that is what nature intended so why mess with nature.


sb zoo baby giraffe just went in for some milk...it's just natural

It is also convenient, free, more nutritional, and comforting for all.  I've proudly whipped out the boobies at all times of day and in all kinds of places, including the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney Land.   The babes is now 14 months and sadly I'm screaming in my head, "ENOUGH ALREADY!"  I've just come to this point where I'm done; mentally, I'm done.  Honestly, at 14 months there is no nutritional value to breastfeeding, at least that I am aware of and my Dr. informed me prior to my first born; it's more about the immunities transferring and comfort. Besides, she is eating real food all day long, you would think she had a bottomless pit for a stomach; thus, breast milk really is not needed.  Yet, when she is fussing at 1 am because for some odd reason my 14 month only has 3 teeth (one which was new this week) and is in pain, and she's reaching for the rocking chair (the only place I still nurse her) I don't have it in me to tell her no.  I'll be honest, part of that is out of fatigue, momma needs some sleep, but a larger part is because I just want her to feel better, even if it makes me feel, not worse, but not better. I have to tell ya, when I look at my boobs all I can think is, "really, are you even getting anything, because sweetie they don't look so voluminous." The last two weeks she has gone from 2-3 nursing's a day back to 4-5, and I have become exhausted again.  Literally, I feel like the life is being sucked from my being.  It's good to be needed and all, but sometimes mommy needs a break (bathroom time is another big one).  To those women who breast feed 2, 3, 4 years, I am in awe because I don't know how you can physically and emotionally do it, so Bravo.  To those of you like me, who reach a breaking point, I believe that that is okay. It seems to be natures way of saying, okay it's time for baby to move forward; hell in the wild it's like nurse for a few weeks then see ya, best of luck out there is the jungle.  I'm venting.  I know that things will get better, and I will no longer get the life drained out of me multiple times a day.  Honestly, if she doesn't choose to stop, them I will have to choose for her, because a drained mommy is not the best for anyone.  We shouldn't feel like we are bad for wanting it to end.  I won't feel bad for wanting my child to not be a nursing baby any longer.

I love my husband, but...

sometimes I want to ring his neck.  Let me preempt with this, I could not have asked for a better more loving husband and father to me & my girls.  I have on more than one occasion wondered how I got so lucky, but shrug and count my blessings.  Yet, there is something that by the time it gets to be close to dinner time, 5:30 or so, and the girls are getting their cranky hungry selves on, that gets me all twisted.  Then when the hubby rolls in (literally, he bikes to work on most days) at 6 and decides that it is time to throw the ball to the dog or give the girls bike rider food to taste, or jump on the swing set, because everyone should come outside barefoot in their jammies after bath, my panties get in a bunch!  Call me crazy or a B%$*!, but come on, everyone has been quasi patiently waiting for you to get home so that we can eat and really this is what you need to do at this moment.  Or better yet, the few nights when he is in charge of the protein (I'll eat red meat, but I wont cook it)  he has to open the junk mail...yup JUNK mail before he can start.  Seriously, makes me want to ring his neck.  The baby is freaking because she wants to eat, the older one grabs any snack she can find (which means dinner will become a battle), and I've already gotten everything else ready to go, and he needs to check on the junk mail!  Uggh! Then there are the times when I remind him, "ok, we will be leaving in one hour."  He nods.  "Ok, leaving in 30 minutes."  He nods.  "Ok, I've got the girls packed up, leaving in ten."  He finds that it is time to water the garden and oh wait he doesn't have any clean pants (or at least clean ones that he feels fit/are appropriate/comfortable, hell if I know).  Seriously?  I've been reminding you for an hour that we had to get going and NOW, with 10 minutes left to go, NOW is when you need to do this crap? What is it about men?  Or maybe it's just my man.  I don't know, but I can tell you this, it drives me up a wall.  I was raised to be on time, because it's proper and respectful.  This is the kind of crap that makes you late.  I seriously get anxiety.  Then there is just the pure stupidity of it all, bike food for a toddler, playing dog with ball at dinner time, reading junk mail.  Truly, I love my husband and can not imagine my life without him, but some times I wonder if he wants to be celibate the remainder of his life.

Beach Ready

As an avid exerciser and someone who has worked in large fitness clubs as well as small studios, I am always amused how certain times of year yield specific requests from clientele or an increase in clientele.  Don't get me wrong, I believe any reason that gets you moving is good, so if wearing shorts and tanks is your motivator, awesome. 

As a high school and college athlete, I've tried a lot of different workouts.  I've injured myself.  I've forced myself to keep going through injuries; hell I played an entire lacrosse season on a broken ankle.  When you're young you can get away with those types of things, you WILL pay the price later, but in those prime years you will move on.  As I got older and things began to creak and click, I realized that there was absolutely no reason why I should be exercising as if I was still in college training.  It's not like I am going out tomorrow and competing against a bunch of 18-19-20 year old chicks with lacrosse sticks anymore.  It was the body creaks and this realization that led me to Pilates.  After just a few mat classes I determined that this was something I wanted to pursue.  Years later I find myself working for the Master Trainer who certified me and loving every minute of my job. 

When my Master Trainer, Boss, and now friend, Chanda Fetter told me she was opening a private studio I jumped at the chance to follow her.  One of my better life decisions.  To the point:  quickly we noticed that clients were telling us how many compliments they were recieiving and how surprised they were seeing as they had stopped going to the gym and were only doing Pilates.  HMMMM?  Yup, it was challenged to us trainers to try the same thing.  I took on the challenge, because that's how I do it.  I was willing to give it 2-3 months.  I mean 2-3 months away from the gym seemed like an eternity.  Holy CRAP!  I was not prepared for the results.  MY BODY TOTALLY CHANGED.  In no way was I trying to loose weight, but I lost a little.  More importantly I toned up and tucked in in places I had never before been able to.  Even better, my body felt good.  I didn't hurt.  I became stronger.  Do I think Pilates is amazing?  Hell yea.  Do I think everyone needs to do it?  Yes.  BUT what I believe and know to be more important is that its all about doing something and sticking with that one thing to get the results you want.  If you are doing 5 different styles of workouts each week how does your body ever understand what it is you are trying to make it do?  One moment you are trying to get it to train like a college athlete, the next contort in yoga, followed by pilates, followed by heavy weight training, etc.  Besides the fact that you end up sore and frustrated that you don't see the expected results, it's too much to stick with, so more often than not we quit.  It doesn't make sense.  If you want to run a marathon, you run. Thus, if you want long lean muscles think Pilates, barre, yoga.  Bulkier muscles (testosterone is needed to truly bulk) heavy weight training.  Get it? 

So here is my message:  Get beach ready or whatever ready it is you are looking to get.  Set a goal, pick something to do that you can do and can stick to doing it.  I promise that that is what is going to get you your results.  Oh and a few good exercises for those beach parts:  triceps dips, planks, push ups, squats, plié squats, ab work, including obliques (rotational (twisting torso) and lateral (side) bending.  And don't forget that DIET is more important!  You are what you eat!
 XO

The hardest thing about being a Mom

Is keeping someone alive.  WHAT?  So there I am running away on the treadmill, watching Frasier re-runs, man that was a GREAT show, and a commercial comes on for a show called, I think, Pretty Wicked Moms.  To me the name sounded like it would be a show about moms who commit crimes or something.  Hell if I was wrong.  The tag lines were things like, "all moms want to be hot moms", "I won't go to a play date unless there is alcohol served", and my favorite, "the hardest thing about being a mom is keeping another human being alive."

What has the world come to?  Some people should just not be parents.  There, I've said it.  Maybe worse, I fully believe it.  I have been keeping myself alive for a pretty long time, and although I had help as a child, I would think that prior to having my own children I learned a thing or two about staying alive.  Barring any illness, disability, etc., why should keeping someone alive be the hardest thing about being a mom??  Yet, it got me thinking.  What IS the hardest part about being a mom, or parent for that matter?  Is it truly that I have to keep others alive?  That I now have to put others first?  That I can no longer do things on my timeline, but have to keep naps, child care availability, etc. in alignment prior to just going and doing something?  Or that I can't use the restroom without interruption?  Maybe that I don't shower everyday? (doubtful, I'm not sure I did that prior to kids).  The loss of sleep?  The loss of husband wife alone time? 

Honestly, I really am not sure what is the hardest thing about being a parent.  Some days it is the total fatigue.  Others it's the ability to take a deep breathe and not scream in the same manner as my 3 year old because even though that would most accurately describe how I feel, it would be a terrible example and irresponsible form of parenting.  Some days it's the fact that I am the farthest thing from looking like a hot mom & I wonder did I lose part of myself (I was hot, after all pre kids ;) )?  I do miss wearing the pretty shoes in my closet, but sneakers are oh God I'm going to say it, just more practical. 

I wish I could tell you what is the hardest part about being a parent.  I don't believe it's keeping another human being alive, because if that was the hardest part of being a parent then truly anyone could be a parent, and that is something that I don't believe (ignoring basic biology here).  Because to be a parent you need to be able to hold in the screams, get dirty like a 3 year old, be okay with being smelly & not having a spotless home, and understand that you are far from a perfect parent and perfect person, because those people do NOT exist.  We all have days that make us feel like bad parents.  LIGHTBULB! I just realized that that is the hardest thing about parenting, getting through the days that make us feel like we are in over our heads and are bad parents, moving forward into the next day or even moment, knowing that we aren't bad parents; we love our children and would go to the ends of the earth to give them whatever it is they need.  Remember that, I plead you!  Remember that it's in that moment when you are ready or already ripping the hair from your own head or in tears because you feel horrible for how you got through a situation (unless it involves violence), that it is right then that you are riding through the toughest aspect of your most difficult and wondrous job, being a parent!  XO

Birthdays

Well, it seems another year came and went.  Each time one of my girls has a birthday all I can think is, "man, another year gone by that fast."  Yes, it makes me feel old.  I'm realizing that that is probably the reason why kids parties have gotten out of hand.  These parties are a chance for us parents, who are feeling old & tired, a chance to whoop it up like a bunch, in my case, of 3 year olds!  So, yes, I am that parent. The one who has a theme based party and runs with the them from top to bottom.  It's a lot of work, but in the end when everyone is having a grand ole time, I am happy. 

First birthdays were easy; I stole it from Sesame Street.  Blaire's b-day was brought to us by the letter B and #1 and Sloane's the letter S and #1.  Blaire's 2nd:  turtle themed. And this past weekend b-day #3 was a painting party!  Although I am still exhausted, it was her best party yet! 

I thought I'd share her 3rd birthday party from invite to end.  Yes, I am a little crazy.  I am also happy to share anything that I did, because I think it's fun. 


I don't do Evite's or Paperless Post.  I'm not that eco friendly and honestly I think that invites in the mail is just a nicer gesture.  Doesn't mean I think you are bad if you use technology, I just prefer old school when it comes to these kinds of things.  A few minutes in Microsoft Word and VOILA:

Blaire loves to paint and do all things craft related.  I am often amazed at how long she will spend on her projects. Painting.  That's easy.  Gets a bunch of paint, brushes, paper, let the kids go to town.  Easy enough:  Staple cardboard to deck posts, paper to cardboard, put down a painters tarp to keep ground clean.  I also wanted to keep the kiddos as clean as possible (so parents wouldn't be bummed with me), thus aprons from amazon.com and a stencil from Michael's = individual art smocks, a useful favor!  I used a little cooking twine to create a clothesline.   While in Michael's I also found those old school window painting activities, $1 each.  Score! 

 

Next came the food!  Since Painting was the theme I decided that everything had to be colorful.  Blaire wanted pizza.  Seeing as I am crazy I spent time the day before making 20+ pizza dough's.  It's all about creating an assembly line.  I used a food network recipe, specifically Anne Burnell's.   I topped the pizzas a few different ways, all of which had a red sauce on top: bell peppers, spinach, and goat cheese, plain cheese, cheese and pepperoni (Apple gate uncured), sun dried tomato & artichoke with goat cheese.  I also served a tri-colored pasta salad with asparagus, tomato, feta, and an organic Italian dressing. Then came my favorite part, with a painters paint palette/tray in mind, I wanted to create a palette of colors on the table and went with the idea of making various colored dips and served them out of paint cans.  I made a red beet, white bean hummus (Weelicious recipe) which was PINK!  A tropical Guacamole (one of my new fav baby food recipes) with coconut meat and mango, our GREEN dip.  A Peanut Butter Carrot Dip, ORANGE!  My mother in law made her Marshmallow Fruit Dip (which I was going to dye yellow as its naturally tinted orange/yellow, but she was late so it stayed an orange yellow color).  Red strawberries on skewers, a layered fruit salad served in a giant green bucket.  The Piece de Resistance, home made Vanilla Tye Dye Cupcakes with Vanilla Buttercream frosting or vanilla cream cheese frosting!  YUMMY! 

 

 

 

What did I forget?  Oh, water for the guests (and I had a few pregnant guests), extra beer, tortilla chips, and I am sure a few other things.  Did it mater?  NOPE!  In the end, and it was a long day, it was a blast!  Not one kiddo shed a tear or left clean.  In my book, that is a GREAT DAY.  I would like to send a HUGE THANK YOU to all of our family and friends who came and celebrated with us and Blaire!  We are so very blessed to have such amazing people to surround us.  That is truly what we celebrate on each birthday, our blessings.  XOXO