Parenting Fear

In light of the tragedy in Boston, I feel it's a good time to address parenting fears.  As parents, I think that we can all agree that we have goals and dreams when it comes to our children. I'm talking about character, who our children will grow up to become.  Empathetic, Sympathetic, Loving, Kind, Trustworthy, Faithful, the list could go on for miles. But what about what we fear our children could become?  I can't imagine any parent wanting their child or children to become bullies, sociopaths, terrorists.  I'm sad for the parents of children who become those individuals.  Do I blame them? Partially, yes, I'd be lying if I said otherwise.  However, I also believe in individuality, rebellion, and free will.  Still, I can't help but think, "what if that were my child?" You can tell me that would never happen because you're a good parent.  And, I pray that that is true. Yet, having worked in Education with at risk and challenged youth, a part of me understands that sometimes the best parents in the world end up with some not so wonderful children.  

Since the moment I discovered that I was going to be a parent I became flooded with feelings of joy, yes, but also fear.  What if I'm not a good parent? What if I screw up?  What if What if what if???  I don't believe that there is one right way to parent.  However, I do believe that there is a wrong way to parent.  As a parent, it is YOUR JOB to teach, love, praise, and support your child/children.  It is NOT the job of schools, communities, etc.   No one can or will love and support your child/children the way that you can and should. I'm not saying be a helicopter parent, but by all means when your child hurts, hug them, kiss, them, support them, and don't say "I told you so."

My heart goes out to all affected in Boston.  My heart breaks that any child can grow up to be so full of hate that they can act on it in such horrific manners. I pray everyday that my own children learn love and acceptance, and as their middle names say, to live with Grace and Faith, for there is no better way.