Another Brick in the Wall

I will never forget the look of relief on my mothers face after hanging up the phone (which was rotary) with a teacher who was kind enough to call and let her know that my brother was not a terrible boy, he was in fact, a normal pre-teen boy.  Had that teacher not called, my brother would more than likely have been sent to military school.  Or the laughter from my father when he realized that my first born daughter, celebrating her birthday in a tutu, was yes indeed sitting in a planter box full of dirt playing and that she had no intention of climbing out anytime soon.  "She's a dirtball!"  "Why, yes, dad, she is and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Just like we expect babies to be babies, eat, shit, and sleep, we should expect kids to be kids.   Yet, for some reason our society truly doesn't.  I just picked up Parents magazine and on the cover in bold was, "how to prepare your child for pre school and the best apps to use"  REALLY?  Pre school prep?  Isn't that the purpose of pre school, to prepare kids for elementary school?  Why do they need to be prepped for prep?  Then there is the whole issue that children MUST be potty trained to even go to half the pre schools out there, by age 2.  Though, if you do your research GI specialists, will explain how forcing children to potty train before they are truly ready may often lead to GI issues such as UTI's Constipation, IBS, etc. And apps for pre-preschoolers?  Really, little ones should be spending their time in front of computer screens, that's what best for them? For us?  NO, NO, NO!

We seem to think that kids, starting as young as birth need to conform to a certain set of standards.  That these standards are what is going to make them smart and strong and beautiful and the best future leaders of the Free World.  Kind of an oxy-moron, isn't it?  Leaders of the Free World, not being free themselves, rather being wiped squeaky clean after every contact with dirt instead of being left to go run free? Forced to poop on the potty before they fully understand the bodily sensations. Forced to "play" "interactive" games on an I-Pad in order to know their ABC's, 123's, pleases and Thank-you's? Rather than truly interacting with the world via outside playtime, blocks, park time, etc ? Has this really made our country smarter? stronger? more beautiful?  Again, NO, NO, NO!  In fact, we are still trailing behind in the major academic areas compared to the rest of the world.  The amount of children who are being labeled as ADD, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (yes it exists), Emotionally Disturbed, etc has actually INCREASED! Yet, we continue to force kids to do things a certain way by a certain time. 

What do you think a 2, 3, 4 year old would want to be doing?  OR even an 11, 12, 13 year old? 

"Teacher, leave the kids alone."  And by teacher, I mean you, parents, caregivers, family members, etc.

Kids NEED to be kids!  They need to be allowed to go out and play.  They need to learn in their own way and own time.  Kids have to explore the world!  Trial and error has always proven to be one of the BEST ways to learn, so yes, I am saying let your kid fall (within reason).  Let your child roll in the dirt, splash in puddles, eat the sand, run naked down the street, have a tantrum, paint themselves rather than the paper, and so on.  Besides this being a great way to learn, it's how kids build confidence in themselves and yes in their caregivers.  It's how children learn who they are, what they enjoy, what their strengths and weaknesses are.  They need to be allowed the freedom to play, true unstructured play.  STOP trying to make your child fit into whatever wall your school, friends, family (they tend to be the most vocal), society, has place before you.  LET THE KIDS BE KIDS!!!

If you do all of this, I promise you,  you WILL pull your hair out a little more than you may like, you WILL have more to clean up, and you WILL be tired.  BUT, your child(ren) will be happier, and more likely to do better in all areas later in life, since they were allowed to learn who they are and be themselves.  Oh, and I guarantee you WILL have SO MUCH MORE FUN!  (disclaimer, I am not a Dr, psychologist, or anyone who can give medical advice; I'm just a former teacher and mom living life and making observations and judgments, take them, leave them, just don't blame me, you are or at least should be in control of your life choices, but I guess if you were never allowed to just be a kid  you may feel the need to fall into my wall ; ) don't be stupid)